Someone who understands

Love this video! May not make a lot of sense to those who aren't in the middle of an adoption, or who have done an adoption, but to me it was an amazing 3 minutes! So great! It is nice to know there are people out there that understand me! :)

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When silence is easiest

Life. Holy Toledo. Life has been, well, not sure if crazy really covers it at this point, but I'll go with that - Life has been crazy. I've been silent for awhile. There are the obvious reasons for the silence - A. I rarely have time to sit B. I'm exhausted C. Not a lot of time spent on me lately D. There are things I legally cannot write about to keep our kiddos safe But there are other reasons I've been silent. Silence is easy - with silence, you don't have to answer the questions that haunt you. I think this silence comes from not knowing exactly what to say. The silence comes from this feeling of such overwhelming desire to have answers and knowledge of the unknown, that speaking outwardly of that unknown is - well - it's scary. About a month into our journey of welcoming four more children into our home, I read this article The Silence of Adoption and I understood everything this woman was saying. Her words struck a chord. It was exactly eve...

Love & attachment

As I hug and kiss my son goodnight (for at least the third time, 2 hours past his bedtime!) I can't help but think about my other children. How I long to hold them in my arms, kiss them goodnight, show them how much they are loved, let them know that I will always be their mother. Yesterday Jon and I attended our first education meeting. This was put on by our local agency conducting our homestudy. The focus of this meeting was to talk about what to expect once our children are home. We learned a lot about "triggers" for our children - when life could be more difficult, we also learned more about attachment issues, and we learned/discussed what it will be like for our children to live in a "white privileged" family & neighborhood. Since this education, my mind has been swarming with many different thoughts. Many I'd like to try to convey into my writing, although this may take a few blogs. Tonight, as I work on getting my son to go to bed - and Stay ...

When life is changing

You know that thing when life changes? At first you are excited, everything is going great. You are on top of the world and although life isn't perfect, you know it can't get much better? Then you start realizing the nitty-gritties, the things that are starting to stir at your bellybutton. The small parts to the change that suddenly start feeling so huge. You start to panic. Your stomach starts to not agree with you and you regret this, and that, and this again. And then you calm yourself, take a deep breath, look at the positives around you, and tell yourself "this too shall pass". Until that wave of anxiety passes over you again and you continue the cycle of happy, nervous, anxious, happy, nervous, anxious - over and over again. This is where I'm at right now. Everything seems almost too overwhelming. So many changes, both older changes and new changes, that just aren't settling well. I'm trying so hard to stay positive and ride along with ...

Waiting Stitches

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