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To the man who raised our son - In Memory of Pastor Dan

If all of us can only understand what compassion and grace truly mean,  this world might be a better place.  ~Pastor Dan Montenegro
There is a person I have dreamed of seeing again. I imagine our Tope, ten years older, as a young man, going back to where he was raised the first five years of his life. The walls of his orphanage would take shape and memories would form for Tope, memories that he would both share and keep to himself. We would share our memories too. Memories of when the gate opened and we first saw his face. Memories of the children that surrounded us, watching as he met his Mom & Dad for the first time. Memories of the caretakers that had spent so much time and love on our little boy. And then we would not just see the building, the new children living here, the memories of past and present, but we would see Pastor Dan standing there, standing proud and grinning as he would hold out his arms to embrace our son. 
This man.  He is kind, gentle, humble. He is a servant …
Recent posts

A feminine touch

How often do you think God looks down upon us and laughs at the things we think and say? I have to think, if I were God, I would be having a good chuckle at least every other hour just listening to my thoughts alone!

Here was His chuckle...

Mara: "I think we are destined for all boys in this house. The craziness of these boys! oy! This is my life."

God: "Lol! Haven't you heard that Everyone agrees that girls are much harder than boys!?!"

Mara: "For certain the only "cute" clothes I will buy will include a collar and buttons."

God: "Hehehe! You do realize that girls don't just need a pair of tennis shoes for the winter and sandals for the summer, right!? They need dress shoes, sandals, tennis shoes, cute boots, real boots, shiny shoes, easter shoes, christmas shoes...."

Mara: "It would be fun to have another female in this house. These boys could use more feminine presence. They are much less crazy. "

God: "You as…

Until we meet again: A Fostercare Goodbye

For baby girl and big boy A -

Here is the time I must say goodbye to you, my sweet, sweet children. For almost four months, you have been a part of our family, a part of our daily life, and a big part of my heart.


Please know I do not see this as a forever goodbye, for I know I will see you again. It may be next month, catching up at the park. It could be next fall, waving in the hallway at school. Maybe we will see you at your next birthday party, and I can see how tall you've grown. Or perhaps we will attend your graduation, and congratulate you on the fine young adult that you are. And in the card I write you, I'll remind you of the the four months we had together, and how you still have a part of my heart.


Although maybe the next time I see you, time will have passed by many, many years. I will be at the store or I'll be walking down the street and I'll think-what a beautiful and confident young woman that is, or what a handsome and kind young man he is. You won…

For the Mothers of my children... Blessings on Mother's Day

For the woman who sits alone today...
For the woman who doesn't know him...
For the woman who grieves...
For the woman who misses all her firsts...
For the woman who isn't reading a bedtime story tonight...
For the woman who doesn't know what it feels like to hold him...
For the woman who counts the days until the next visit...
For the woman who wonders about the future...
For the woman who gave birth to a beautiful, perfect, child...

This is for his Mother.
This is for her Mother.

This is for the Mothers of my children.

I am blessed by your child. Each and every day I see the works of God behind your child's eyes. There is love, wisdom, charisma, hope, faith, and joy behind those eyes. When your child smiles, I am right there smiling along. When your child cries, I'm ready to comfort, to hold, to wipe the tears away. When your child is scared, I do my best to wipe away those fears. When your child misses you...

I stop.

I breathe deep.

For I know, the blessings in …

What's the buzz?

With Easter just passed, I was realizing that I never listened to Jesus Christ Superstar - one of my favorite past times during Lent, as the music has always led me to think about Christ and how he related with his family and friends in those last moments before his death. Plus, I'm a sucker for any music from a musical. Imagine that!? So - What's the buzz? Tell me what's happenin'....

This year I missed the Superstar boat though with little downtime at home; however, I did find myself listening to Godspell one day as I organized my bedroom and was reminded of one of my favorite songs and its' lyrics....
All good gifts around us Are sent from heaven above So thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord For all His love I really want to thank you Lord!

All good gifts - my life is filled with so many. God is blessing us richly with a life that is full of truth, love, and spirit. Along with these blessings comes a multitude of new knowledge, some easy to grasp and hold onto, and some…

6 Months as Foster Parents

So the title may have had wittier moments in my head, but in all reality, it is full and honest truth. Six months as Foster Parents. I would like to know where the last half of a year went...

This summer was quite the season.  Although it is supposed to be a season of warmth, relaxation, and vacations, we were in a Winter. A really long, brutal, stormy winter, where you hunker down in your house and wonder when the storm will pass. On the sunny days of this winter, we basked in the light and enjoyed the 30 degree temps. On the cloudy, sub-below temp kind of days - well, we made it through to the next day.

To say I have learned more in the last six months than just about any other six months in my life, would be a completely accurate statement. The learning curve my husband and I have been on has been huge. There are days we scored a perfect 10. And there have been many more days where we have scored a 2, if being gracious in the scoring.

Trauma is - well I have words for it, but since…

When silence is easiest

Life. Holy Toledo. Life has been, well, not sure if crazy really covers it at this point, but I'll go with that - Life has been crazy.

I've been silent for awhile. There are the obvious reasons for the silence -
A. I rarely have time to sit
B. I'm exhausted
C. Not a lot of time spent on me lately
D. There are things I legally cannot write about to keep our kiddos safe

But there are other reasons I've been silent. Silence is easy -  with silence, you don't have to answer the questions that haunt you. I think this silence comes from not knowing exactly what to say. The silence comes from this feeling of such overwhelming desire to have answers and knowledge of the unknown, that speaking outwardly of that unknown is - well - it's scary. About a month into our journey of welcoming four more children into our home, I read this article The Silence of Adoption and I understood everything this woman was saying. Her words struck a chord. It was exactly everything that …