Skip to main content


Do you have children? If so, how much did you imagine about that child before he/she was born? Was your child going to look like you? Talk like you? Dress like you? How tall would your child be? Did you know she would have crooked teeth? Or be certain he would have acne as a teen? Did you know what shoe size he would wear? Could you imagine the hairstyles you would give her?

Imagine a child.  Imagine a child that is non-existent to your world. Imagine Your child.

I can't say that this activity was easy for me even when pregnant with my son. The only thing I could really imagine was that he would be cursed with my crazy hair! Sure, I do love my hair, but as a girl I can "tame" it with binders and irons - I was horrified that Caleb would have to deal with frizz and pouf - but, to my great relief, he has his father's hair...although, he might not be too happy about that when he hits 25... but I digress.  :)

Jon and I started completing our agency homework through a workbook called, "With Eyes Wide Open: Preparation for International Adoption." I thought - well this can't be too bad. We answer a few questions together, turn it in, and we are done with this small portion of our to-do's before we adopt.

And then I opened to the first page. Exercise 1. This isn't going to be as easy as I had thought...
"This exercise may be the hardest of all (in the book). Draw a picture of your future child or use your imagination to picture your future child in your mind."
Sure, I've thought about my babies' color of skin. I've thought about their smiles. The texture of their hair. I've thought a lot about how I will hold them - tightly.
But had I ever Really thought about their age when they come home? Or will we bring home boys, girls, a boy and a girl? And then my mind really started to race when the exercise asked us to "include the details that will set your child apart from the others." We were encouraged to think about their clothes, what types of shoes they will wear. What their eyes look like when they look at you. How your children hold your hand.
And my heart beat loudly.
I still have no true idea what to expect when we receive our adoption referral. But to know that this child or children that I love So dearly, will be a part of our family, is a breathtaking thought. I may not know exactly what they will look like, but I Can imagine what it will feel like to feel their hands in mine, to look at their chocolate eyes, to smell their hair, to kiss their cheeks...
And on a more humorous tone - I went as far to daydream about having a little girl! For some reason I have this odd feeling God will bless us with a house full of boys!  And even though there are some cute polo's and button down shirts... it only takes a few months before you get tired of the variations of blues versus oranges, and stripes versus solids!!!  So, I daydreamed about cute dresses, hair clips, and striped tights.  :)

So, what did I draw (or try to draw with my limited artistic skills) - a boy about 4 years old and a little girl (in a pink, polka dotted dress!) that is around 2.

Doesn't that sound perfect?  :)

In Christ,


  1. I finished my "homework" too! Got the reference material in the mail this last weekend and turned it in. It was a joy to fill out and soooo easy! You two will be wonderful parents to these blessed children.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To the man who raised our son - In Memory of Pastor Dan

If all of us can only understand what compassion and grace truly mean,  this world might be a better place.  ~Pastor Dan Montenegro
There is a person I have dreamed of seeing again. I imagine our Tope, ten years older, as a young man, going back to where he was raised the first five years of his life. The walls of his orphanage would take shape and memories would form for Tope, memories that he would both share and keep to himself. We would share our memories too. Memories of when the gate opened and we first saw his face. Memories of the children that surrounded us, watching as he met his Mom & Dad for the first time. Memories of the caretakers that had spent so much time and love on our little boy. And then we would not just see the building, the new children living here, the memories of past and present, but we would see Pastor Dan standing there, standing proud and grinning as he would hold out his arms to embrace our son. 
This man.  He is kind, gentle, humble. He is a servant …

A feminine touch

How often do you think God looks down upon us and laughs at the things we think and say? I have to think, if I were God, I would be having a good chuckle at least every other hour just listening to my thoughts alone!

Here was His chuckle...

Mara: "I think we are destined for all boys in this house. The craziness of these boys! oy! This is my life."

God: "Lol! Haven't you heard that Everyone agrees that girls are much harder than boys!?!"

Mara: "For certain the only "cute" clothes I will buy will include a collar and buttons."

God: "Hehehe! You do realize that girls don't just need a pair of tennis shoes for the winter and sandals for the summer, right!? They need dress shoes, sandals, tennis shoes, cute boots, real boots, shiny shoes, easter shoes, christmas shoes...."

Mara: "It would be fun to have another female in this house. These boys could use more feminine presence. They are much less crazy. "

God: "You as…

Until we meet again: A Fostercare Goodbye

For baby girl and big boy A -

Here is the time I must say goodbye to you, my sweet, sweet children. For almost four months, you have been a part of our family, a part of our daily life, and a big part of my heart.

Please know I do not see this as a forever goodbye, for I know I will see you again. It may be next month, catching up at the park. It could be next fall, waving in the hallway at school. Maybe we will see you at your next birthday party, and I can see how tall you've grown. Or perhaps we will attend your graduation, and congratulate you on the fine young adult that you are. And in the card I write you, I'll remind you of the the four months we had together, and how you still have a part of my heart.

Although maybe the next time I see you, time will have passed by many, many years. I will be at the store or I'll be walking down the street and I'll think-what a beautiful and confident young woman that is, or what a handsome and kind young man he is. You won…