Finding reasons

One of the hardest things I have heard through our adoption journey is "there must be a reason why your child is not home yet...". I can't tell you how much I dislike hearing this comment. Truth be told, it makes me question my thoughts about God and how He conducts His works. I don't feel God really WANTS a child to sit in an orphanage for years. I don't feel God WANTS us to be uncertain when we will be able to raise our child. So, if I believe it is not what God would want, then why is it happening? Why the wait? Not just our wait, but for Little C... for all the orphans of our world. Why do they sit while our world demands paperwork, money, letters of recommendation, background checks, and so much more, so that they can come home YEARS LATER to a forever home? 

These are questions that plague my heart and brain on a regular occurrence. Will I ever learn the answers - most likely not - but if I am ever allowed to ask a couple questions in the presence of the Big Guy, you can be sure these will be among them.  :)

So why the wait? I know the answers related to the adoption process, I get it, even if I don't like it. But why, for me and my family, have we had this wait? Have we spent this time wisely? Was there a real reason we were given this "extra" time as a family of three? Did I have something personal I should have achieved before the end of this wait? 

I have been trying to relish in my time with Caleb, as I know his days of being an only child are quickly coming to an end. I think there will be a part of me that misses our days together. We have been very blessed to spend so much time with Caleb and to be witnesses to his growth as a person - and what a great one he is! Of course, we will get to continue our journey with Caleb, but we know that our time with him will change once Little C joins our family, some changes will be great and some will take adjustments. 

As an individual, I realized I also needed to take a little more "me" time before our new adventure begins. I plan to give a lot of my time and energy to my boys in the next year, so I did a couple things in this last year that I have really enjoyed and I hope made other people also feel enjoyment. I have been "finding reasons" as to why we haven't been able to bring our future children home sooner. I've gotten to indulge in more theater and performances, I helped lead a couple church activities, I joined a couple extra committees at work, I am volunteering as soccer coach, I trained for a half marathon, and I have been able to SLEEP IN on occasion!!!!

Today I wanted to share with you one of my more favorite "reasons" that I have found... I have been blessed with the opportunity to work camp a couple more times. This is a camp that I cherish and am so honored to be a part of. In 1995 I was a camper at Celebrate Me Week. The camp is a week for kids going into 7th grade. Throughout the week we try to give them the tools to get through adolescence and the valleys of life. We teach that they are special, unique, and one-of-a-kind creations that God loves. It is so great to help build self-esteem in these kids - because who doesn't need a self-esteem boost, especially right before 7th grade!?! Who couldn't use one just about every year of life!?!? Therefore, this camp is not only uplifting for the kids, but also for all those who volunteer their week to work there. Trust me, I could go on for MANY more paragraphs about this camp, but instead, if you'd like to learn more, let me know and I'd be happy to tell you! In '99 I returned as part of the staff for three years, and then life happened and I couldn't be there anymore. I came back when I was pregnant with Caleb for a year and loved it (Thank you to my sister who brought me back-Love you!)! But, wasn't keen on going back the next year with a baby home. Then I got a call a couple years later from a good friend who badgered me into coming back to camp, and I'm so happy he did! The last three summers now I have been back volunteering at Celebrate Me and I LOVE my time there. I get to take a whole week Celebrating God's Creations - all of the kids and adults around me. How fun is that!?!? 

This year I was given the honor of giving the first night talk - "I AM SPECIAL".  Yey! How exciting to tell 100 kids and 70 adults how special each and everyone of them are. What a blessing,  :)          

My friend, Tim, videotaped the talk. Some small parts were missed, but most of it is here. Towards the end of the talk I also played Colbie Caillat's song "Try". If you've never heard this song, please click on the youtube link below - such a great song. I actually played the song while showing a filmstrip of pictures of the campers from when they had arrived a couple hours earlier - wish I could show their beautiful faces to you! - but instead imagine all of the kids in your life as you listen to the song.

Hope you enjoy the talk, and even though it is directed to 7th grade campers, I hope you too can take something away from the message... 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made...

Amen to that!

Finding reasons today... think I found a good one.  :)

~In Christ

Mara