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Early Mother's day

 
Today was a special day for me, as I got to see a small snippet of my child's love for me.
 
This morning as I dropped him off at Daycare he made sure I knew...
"Even though I'm here, you'll know that I love you because I'm in your heart - right Mom?"
My knees went weak, I choked back tears, and then praised God for the little blessing in front of me.
 
Oh how I wish I didn't have to leave my little boy every day for work. We've found a little ritual though that gets me through the day. Whenever we leave each other, we blow kisses, catch them, and put them in our hearts. So even though I dreaded leaving his smiling face today, he helped me by blowing me my kiss out the daycare window. Then catching mine, I could read his lips: "put it in my heart."
 
Will I ever forget these moments? Will I ever forget what it feels like to have his little hands around my neck? Or have him tell me it is time for eskimo kisses? He already seems so old to me some days, but then I look at his Mother's day card and see how tiny his handprints really are.
 
As you all know, I am so anxious for the day that we can add to our family and I can be a Mom to more than just Caleb, but it does make me wonder - how will their birth mother do it? How will she be able to give up all of this? The warmth, smiles, hugs, love, care, energy, and beauty of a child - she will have given away. If she abandons her children - how and why? If she is dying from illness - does she know her children will be cared for?
 
I cannot even begin to understand what it would feel like to not have this little boy in my life.

 
To my wonderful son - I pray you always know how loved you are.
I am so blessed to be Your Mommy!
Blowing you a kiss - may you catch it, and always keep it in your heart.
 
Love,
Mommy
 

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