Skip to main content

To be 30

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant. It was very real. I was going into labor and it was on my birthday, which was an exciting prospect. Granted, I know the dream came because I watched "Grey's Anatomy" last night and someone gave birth, and I was going into labor on my birthday because in reality, tomorrow is my birthday.

This year I hit one of the milestone birthdays - 30. Yes, I know I'm still "young". I  really don't feel like this is making me much older, but it is hitting me harder than I thought it would. A few months ago I laughed about the fact that I was almost 30, but today, as I sit and mull it over - I'm not too excited about the fact that I'm 30.

Why not? Well, I thought life would have been a little different I think. Not a ton different. At 30 I hoped to be married, living in a house, have a career, have a family, and I am very blessed to have all of these things. But the things that didn't happen before I was 30, well, they kind of bug me.

In the perfect world, I would have...

  1. finished a Master's program so that I wouldn't have to worry about it as a mom
  2. made a queen sized quilt for my bed
  3. run a 5K
  4. been back to the weight I was in college
  5. rid myself of acne!
  6. learn the art of keeping a house clean -
  7. started another Celebrate Me Week in another state
  8. bought myself a NEW, big, dining room table
  9. and of course - I would have had more kids.

That is not how the last few years have panned out. But....
  1. Had I done my Masters it would have related to High school music studies, I'm excited to now look for a program that will relate more to how I teach my Elementary students
  2. The fact that I even learned how to quilt has been an amazing feat!! I'm loving my new hobby!! Other than it isn't the cheapest hobby....  :)    It relieves my stress and makes me happy, especially when I can make a quilt for someone else. I'll make Jon & Myself a quilt someday - it will happen
  3. I'm running my first 5K in less than a month! And to make it even more fun, it is a Color Run put on my our Boys & Girls club in town - it will be lots of fun!
  4. I don't really need to be back down to where I was when I started college - ha! I would have to eat nothing but vegetables and I'm not willing to diet like that!!! But I would like to be in better shape and eat healthier, and I think if those are my goals, I could actually get close to this weight again. I'm working on it.
  5. I will always struggle with this, and I don't believe there is a cure. But SERIOUSLY!!! Somedays I feel like I'm in High school again. It is soooooooo annoying to deal with this as adult!
  6. Well, I want to learn how to at least keep it always presentable enough to invite people in if they stop by!  This is not easy to do! And I only have one kid in the house!!!! It will be interesting when we add more!
  7. Celebrate Me is a camp near & dear to my heart. It is a camp for students going into 7th grade. During the week our goal is to make sure every child knows that they are LOVED and that God made them special for a purpose. If you'd like to learn more, visit their site
  8. I'd say 95% of our furniture is either a hand-me-down or was bought at a garage sale. I would LOVE to buy NEW furniture someday. And I want to start with our dining room table. Granted, our table was from my Grandma and it is the sturdiest, most durable table! But it just isn't my family's table. This is one of my biggest dreams. Seems like such a silly thing I know, but I look forward to the day Jon and I buy OUR dining room table.
  9. Kids. The biggest reason why I'm sad to turn 30. I know, I know. There are tons of people that don't have children in their 20's. Times have changed and it is not rare for people to start having kids in their 30's or even later. But, it wasn't what I had "visioned" for my life. It's quite the opposite really. If you had told me ten years ago that I would only have one child, I would have laughed, I really would have, and would have not believed you one bit.

All in all, I have an amazing life. I have been blessed beyond measure and I am so thankful for the (almost) 9 years of marriage I have had to Jon, the 4.5 years of smiles I've had with Caleb, and the 30 years I've had with my amazing Parents and Grandparents. So life isn't always peachykeen - I don't believe the bible ever said it would be...  :)

Everyone has visions for their life. Some things come to be, some things do not, some things cannot.
But if we are living in the present, and are able to see the blessings in our lives. Well, then the good & bad things are all worth it. So maybe I take back what I said earlier. I guess I am OK turning 30, it really isn't that bad.

Thank you Lord for a Wonderful 30 years!  You have blessed me with a wonderful life, and I am so grateful.

 I am so very excited to see what the next decade brings! Maybe I'll even be able to say I've accomplished all of my list by 40... although, I have a feeling the cleaning one is a long shot....   :)


Popular posts from this blog

To the man who raised our son - In Memory of Pastor Dan

If all of us can only understand what compassion and grace truly mean,  this world might be a better place.  ~Pastor Dan Montenegro
There is a person I have dreamed of seeing again. I imagine our Tope, ten years older, as a young man, going back to where he was raised the first five years of his life. The walls of his orphanage would take shape and memories would form for Tope, memories that he would both share and keep to himself. We would share our memories too. Memories of when the gate opened and we first saw his face. Memories of the children that surrounded us, watching as he met his Mom & Dad for the first time. Memories of the caretakers that had spent so much time and love on our little boy. And then we would not just see the building, the new children living here, the memories of past and present, but we would see Pastor Dan standing there, standing proud and grinning as he would hold out his arms to embrace our son. 
This man.  He is kind, gentle, humble. He is a servant …

A feminine touch

How often do you think God looks down upon us and laughs at the things we think and say? I have to think, if I were God, I would be having a good chuckle at least every other hour just listening to my thoughts alone!

Here was His chuckle...

Mara: "I think we are destined for all boys in this house. The craziness of these boys! oy! This is my life."

God: "Lol! Haven't you heard that Everyone agrees that girls are much harder than boys!?!"

Mara: "For certain the only "cute" clothes I will buy will include a collar and buttons."

God: "Hehehe! You do realize that girls don't just need a pair of tennis shoes for the winter and sandals for the summer, right!? They need dress shoes, sandals, tennis shoes, cute boots, real boots, shiny shoes, easter shoes, christmas shoes...."

Mara: "It would be fun to have another female in this house. These boys could use more feminine presence. They are much less crazy. "

God: "You as…

Until we meet again: A Fostercare Goodbye

For baby girl and big boy A -

Here is the time I must say goodbye to you, my sweet, sweet children. For almost four months, you have been a part of our family, a part of our daily life, and a big part of my heart.

Please know I do not see this as a forever goodbye, for I know I will see you again. It may be next month, catching up at the park. It could be next fall, waving in the hallway at school. Maybe we will see you at your next birthday party, and I can see how tall you've grown. Or perhaps we will attend your graduation, and congratulate you on the fine young adult that you are. And in the card I write you, I'll remind you of the the four months we had together, and how you still have a part of my heart.

Although maybe the next time I see you, time will have passed by many, many years. I will be at the store or I'll be walking down the street and I'll think-what a beautiful and confident young woman that is, or what a handsome and kind young man he is. You won…