Skip to main content

Jitters

Having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that we could officially be adopting soon. It is like this knowledge has suddenly hit me and I feel quite anxious all of a sudden. Maybe I've been so busy with the play I'm in that I was able to not feel the nerves, but all it has taken is one free evening and I have the jitters! We went from thinking a possible three years to bring our kids home, to the reality that one of our children could be coming home by summer.

The hardest part is not even knowing if we really can adopt this little boy. I'm trying not to get attached to everything until we know for certain that we can adopt from the Philippines. But I'm not going to sugarcoat it - I will definitely feel a loss and grief if this does not happen. The not wanting to get attached, is happening in the opposite fashion...

Today at church I watched Caleb coloring in the pew and for a brief moment I could see two little boys standing there and coloring. If only that was already a reality, and yet it also scares me knowing it could be a reality soon. I truly feel we are called to not adopt a baby, but knowing we could bring home a four year old is not something I take lightly. We will have missed out on so many milestones of his, we will miss his cute baby pudge, we will miss his first words, teeth, hair. He will already be set in some of his personality, he will try us on for size, jut like almost 5 year old Caleb is doing right now. 

But do you know what is really scary to me? It's not that he would have some medical things to resolve or that he doesn't speak our language - I'm scared that he has no idea what it is like to live with a family. Having parents, a brother, a house, a car, a dog - the couple things of these he did have, well, it has been 3.5 years since that time. How will he react to having a home? A family?

 His safety is in an orphanage- that thought haunts me. 

This week- we pray an answer comes from the Phillipines whether or not we would be considered to adopt. We also pray we can finalize our decision, as this little child is "on hold" for our family only until Oct. 22. 

Please pray. 

In the meantime I have resumed some of my waiting stitches. They help me think and pray. I got 10 owls finished up tonight-all spoken for, but a whole flock cut out ready to sew soon. I have loved being in a play, but I'm looking forward to some more sewing time again... Although if we go through with the adoption, the next couple months will demand more nights of paperwork! 

Thanks for listening to me ramble tonight. It is now time for bed so I don't standup my running partner tomorrow morning! Have a great week everyone. I will keep you posted if we learn anything more. 

In Christ,
Mara

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Second day in Manila

Family picture from yesterday at the park. Caleb has a flying butterfly. Our second day in Manila was fantastic! We got out of the city and saw a ton of the countryside, multiple areas outside of the city, and a beautiful "lake" that houses a volcano.  We've been starting our mornings with this view. Starting out on our journey today we saw some gigantic billboards. These two were selling Jollibee and the other was selling TUNA... tuna!?!? Our first trip to Jollbee! This is the Philippines favorite fast food restaurant, it is similar to our McDonald's. Their primary food though is chicken, much like KFC. Where do pineapples come from!?! Did you say a tree?? Then you, like myself and Jon, are wrong!!!! These are Pineapple Fields! Pineapples are grown from the ground! When this is ready to pick, the pineapple will be sitting straight up on top of the soil.  Road side stop to see the pineapple fields also allowed us to see t...
1 comment
Read more

decisions to be made

Last week I was taken a little aback by the news that it could be 3.5 years until we would be bringing our children home. I knew this would be a process, a long process, and maybe I was kidding myself thinking that somehow our process would be shorter. We still do have the potential to have a shorter process since our parameters are not extremely narrow, but we will still be no where near what my head was hoping for. In the recent months it had crossed my mind that I could see us adopting more than once, but what a process that would be! If this is a 3-5 year process, to start all over again seemed like so much. But now our minds are racing with a new hope... Because of the letter they sent us, we learned that simultaneous adoption is an option. The thought had never even occurred to me to look into this option, but I'm becoming quite excited about the prospect. With simultaneous adoption, we would be part of two different adoption programs within our agency - Ethiopia & ...
2 comments
Read more

Our "Travel Quilts"

  In preparation for this adoption, we've already started thinking of ways that we can afford this whole process. It definitely won't be a "cheap" venture in our lives. The hardest part will be finding the money to cover the travel costs to Africa. To help with the travel costs, we hope to hold a couple events that will help us raise funds.   A couple years ago, when we first discussed adoption, my thoughts were with quilting. I get such satisfaction making a quilt or a sewn gift for a new child, or for a Christmas/Birthday gift for a niece or cousin. Thinking about a child wrapped in a quilt makes me smile from ear to ear. My thoughts then, and now, are to create baby/children quilts to sell. All money made from these quilts will be kept to help pay the costs of travel to Africa. Each quilt sold will be filled with thoughts and prayers for all children. They are full of my waiting stitches  and filled with love and joy.    The picture below shows the...
3 comments
Read more