As of Sunday, our profile has been sitting in the Philippines awaiting its yey or ney. What does this mean? Well, let me try to explain, as it is a little confusing.
The way the adoption system works in the Philippines is almost the complete opposite of how it works in other countries, including the one we know the most about, Ethiopia. In many countries, we are paired with the children and then we decide ultimately if we want to accept the referral. Then the child goes through court dates to make certain that he/she is an orphan that can be adopted. We would attend some of the court hearings and then ultimately bring the child home when all is settled.
The Philippines starts from the last step Ethiopia does - it gets all of the child's "ducks in a row" and makes absolutely sure that the child is an orphan before the child can be put on a list that shows he/she is available for adoption. In my opinion, this is great, because there is no doubt that the child will somehow become unavailable later. The government is very thorough, therefore many kids stay in an orphanage for a couple years until the orphan status is 100% - which is the case of the little boy we have learned about.
Once the child is on the waiting list, different agencies can look at this list and potential adoptive parents can then essentially "pick" children that they might be interested in adopting. If a child looks like a potential match, the parents can look at the complete medical & social history and make a decision to send a profile to the Philippines. The profile contains information about us and why we think we would be suitable as parents for the child. Once the profile is in the Philippines, their government officials will look at our documents and decide if we would be the best placement for the child. The scary thing is, there could be four other profiles, just like ours, asking to adopt the same child.
So here we are, our profile is in the Philippines. We have spent some money to already get an international pediatrician review of the child's documents. We also had a small application amount for our agency, so there is some money to be lost - which is always frustrating. We have NO idea if other profiles have been sent in towards adopting this little boy, nor do we know if they will find us as parents that have the capacity to raise this child. And I am waiting at home with the question, "will it be a yey, or a ney?"
I can already see this little boy home with us, playing with Caleb, tucking him in at night, sitting with us in church. My emotions are starting to be wrapped up in the idea of having him as our son. How much do I continue with that notion? I want to daydream and believe that this is meant to be our reality, but then there is the part of me that yells "Mara, don't be too hasty!", I'm scared for the rejection and the pain of knowing he could possibly not be ours to call "son".
What do I do? Do I dream, wish, hope, pray, LOVE? Or do I wait, be scared, pray, and worry? Or do I do a little of both?
Right now, I'm doing both, whether this is wrong or right. I will admit, tears will be shed if I can't call him my little boy, because, as of right now, he is our little boy. He is Caleb's brother. He is the fourth Schack family member. He is in my heart...
Someone posted this as their Facebook status today... it was a healthy reminder for me.
From JAMES 5:7-8
Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.
Be patient.
Be patient.
Stand firm.
Stand firm.
I know the Lord is already near, because He is Here. He is with my family. He is with our little boy in the Philippines. He is working HIS hands in this. It is time for me to be patient - even though my whole being aches to run & scream until this is all settled.
Settled... when will that be? Well, who knows. Within the next week we hope to hear back from the Philippines whether we can move forward with the adoption, or if they don't think we are the right forever family for the little boy. If it is a ney, then there are a couple next step options to ponder - but not going there unless we have to. If it is a yey, then we start a lot of paperwork, and move as quickly as we can so that we can bring him home sooner than later. If all went well, we would be bringing him home next Spring at the earliest, possibly summer or even early fall. It is all in God's hands.
Be patient.
Stand firm.
The way the adoption system works in the Philippines is almost the complete opposite of how it works in other countries, including the one we know the most about, Ethiopia. In many countries, we are paired with the children and then we decide ultimately if we want to accept the referral. Then the child goes through court dates to make certain that he/she is an orphan that can be adopted. We would attend some of the court hearings and then ultimately bring the child home when all is settled.
The Philippines starts from the last step Ethiopia does - it gets all of the child's "ducks in a row" and makes absolutely sure that the child is an orphan before the child can be put on a list that shows he/she is available for adoption. In my opinion, this is great, because there is no doubt that the child will somehow become unavailable later. The government is very thorough, therefore many kids stay in an orphanage for a couple years until the orphan status is 100% - which is the case of the little boy we have learned about.
Once the child is on the waiting list, different agencies can look at this list and potential adoptive parents can then essentially "pick" children that they might be interested in adopting. If a child looks like a potential match, the parents can look at the complete medical & social history and make a decision to send a profile to the Philippines. The profile contains information about us and why we think we would be suitable as parents for the child. Once the profile is in the Philippines, their government officials will look at our documents and decide if we would be the best placement for the child. The scary thing is, there could be four other profiles, just like ours, asking to adopt the same child.
So here we are, our profile is in the Philippines. We have spent some money to already get an international pediatrician review of the child's documents. We also had a small application amount for our agency, so there is some money to be lost - which is always frustrating. We have NO idea if other profiles have been sent in towards adopting this little boy, nor do we know if they will find us as parents that have the capacity to raise this child. And I am waiting at home with the question, "will it be a yey, or a ney?"
I can already see this little boy home with us, playing with Caleb, tucking him in at night, sitting with us in church. My emotions are starting to be wrapped up in the idea of having him as our son. How much do I continue with that notion? I want to daydream and believe that this is meant to be our reality, but then there is the part of me that yells "Mara, don't be too hasty!", I'm scared for the rejection and the pain of knowing he could possibly not be ours to call "son".
What do I do? Do I dream, wish, hope, pray, LOVE? Or do I wait, be scared, pray, and worry? Or do I do a little of both?
Right now, I'm doing both, whether this is wrong or right. I will admit, tears will be shed if I can't call him my little boy, because, as of right now, he is our little boy. He is Caleb's brother. He is the fourth Schack family member. He is in my heart...
Someone posted this as their Facebook status today... it was a healthy reminder for me.
From JAMES 5:7-8
Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.
Be patient.
Be patient.
Stand firm.
Stand firm.
I know the Lord is already near, because He is Here. He is with my family. He is with our little boy in the Philippines. He is working HIS hands in this. It is time for me to be patient - even though my whole being aches to run & scream until this is all settled.
Settled... when will that be? Well, who knows. Within the next week we hope to hear back from the Philippines whether we can move forward with the adoption, or if they don't think we are the right forever family for the little boy. If it is a ney, then there are a couple next step options to ponder - but not going there unless we have to. If it is a yey, then we start a lot of paperwork, and move as quickly as we can so that we can bring him home sooner than later. If all went well, we would be bringing him home next Spring at the earliest, possibly summer or even early fall. It is all in God's hands.
Be patient.
Stand firm.
In Christ,
Mara
Oh my! I would be a nervous wreck of worry and excitement....praying for peace for you all!
ReplyDeleteHope all goes well and that you have peace either way! How wonderful and scary all at the same time!
ReplyDelete