Skip to main content

Missing milestones


As I sat in church today, I watched a baby boy drinking from his bottle, playing with a little toy, and looking into his mother's eyes... and I thought, can I really do this? Can I really miss so many milestones in my child's life?

How many life milestones are there before age 5?

sleeping through the night...
cooing...
smiling...
sitting on own...
laughing...
eating solids...
standing...
walking...
talking...
running...
singing...
jumping...

Those are the main milestones, but what about all of those small ones? There are too many to count. So many that Jon & I will miss when we bring home a child, versus a baby.

I do not doubt that I can love the children that we bring into our home, as I know that I already do love them, even though I do not even know who they are. But I do wonder what my response will be to the knowledge that I was not able to share in their milestones. I will not have pictures. I will not have "proof". I won't have stories to tell. I will have missed so many milestones, and this reality can be hard to swallow.

Why have we chosen to not adopt a baby? How fun it would be to have a little one in the house again, witness the milestones, attach to the child - but little ones aren't the ones looking for a home. So many people are fighting to bring home a baby, so they can witness these milestones, and help shape the child from beginning to end. We were blessed with our own biological child, and (for better or worse!) we have helped be his role models and share with him what he knows today. We have seen each and every  milestone, and have a lot of "proof" to share with others that he did indeed reach these milestones. It was fun to watch him grow, yes, but we got our "baby" time - it is someone else's turn. I can't imagine my little boy's life without us there. If he was to loose us, I would want him in a home with parents, not in an institution. There are so many small children waiting for homes just because they are no longer a "baby". Even though many of their milestones have passed, they have so many more to share.

What milestones do children have between age 5-18?

Learning numbers & letters...
Tying a shoe...
Making a friend...
Losing a tooth...
Riding a bus...
Playing an instrument...
Competing in a game...
Having a crush...
Driving a car...



These are just as exciting of milestones as the first. Will I miss the small things of early childhood that I don't get to witness? yes. Yes I will. I won't deny that. But, through writing this, I am remembering the beauty of EVERY stage of life, no matter how young or old. There is always a new milestone to be witnessed or to achieve. And soon we will be parents that get to witness these milestones with more than one child - what a blessing that will be! 

Yesterday we decided to get "proof" that Caleb has turned 5... he is looking older and older each day... Hallelujah for the blessings and milestones that he brings to our family each and every day!












In Christ ~
Mara
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Four years.

Four years. Four years ago today, our second blessing jumped into our arms for the first time. Four years ago today, these two became brothers and best friends. Four years ago today, all our worlds changed. And yet, how can it have only been four years? Feels like he has been our son from day one. The Lord blessed us ten-fold the day we met you, my son, our Tope. My world is better with you in it.
Post a Comment
Read more

Love & attachment

As I hug and kiss my son goodnight (for at least the third time, 2 hours past his bedtime!) I can't help but think about my other children. How I long to hold them in my arms, kiss them goodnight, show them how much they are loved, let them know that I will always be their mother. Yesterday Jon and I attended our first education meeting. This was put on by our local agency conducting our homestudy. The focus of this meeting was to talk about what to expect once our children are home. We learned a lot about "triggers" for our children - when life could be more difficult, we also learned more about attachment issues, and we learned/discussed what it will be like for our children to live in a "white privileged" family & neighborhood. Since this education, my mind has been swarming with many different thoughts. Many I'd like to try to convey into my writing, although this may take a few blogs. Tonight, as I work on getting my son to go to bed - and Stay ...
5 comments
Read more

Davao Day 3 - Our Forever Family!!!

We would like to announce our newest son to the world! Christopher Andrew  Christopher, aka Tope (Toe-pay), is a delight to behold. We are incredibly blessed to have him in our lives. If his smile doesn't melt your heart, then his big dark brown eyes will.  He is a five year old that has a Great sense of humor and is already quickly melding into the family. His laugh takes my breath away. His hugs are like a warm blanket. And we are so thankful to call him our son. We hadn't even made it into the opening of the gate before Tope ran over to meet us. He quickly jumped into Jon's lap and there he stayed, looking almost shocked and yet content to be with his Daddy. He almost looked like he was going to cry. He clung to Jon for a very long time. What a blessing! One of the caretakers had him put on his shoes, of which he tied himself! He is already such a big boy!  We made our way to the office to sign papers and receive papers. Tope talk...
4 comments
Read more