Waiting Stitches

                Clothes for garage sale, un-matched socks (How were Caleb's feet ever this small!?!), & down to ONE tote of 0-9 month clothes and 1/2 a tote of maternity clothes. I finally did it, I've started to purge some of our baby things, and honestly - it feels good.   My sister-in-law is expecting a child, and although we have no idea what the gender is, I have a strong feeling that she will be having a boy for her third child. This week her family was visiting us, and seeing as she lives Far, FAr, FAR away, I thought it might be a good idea to let her take what she wanted now, instead of trying to figure out how to ship all the clothes over the ocean! If she doesn't have a boy, well then she has a couple trash bags full of 0-9 month clothes - lol! BUT if she does have a boy, then hopefully I helped save her a few dollars, not to mention she can have better quality clothes tha...

Remember that Limbo feeling? The one that can be traced all the way back to elementary school? The feeling where you're afraid that if something makes you sad, you might be told you're a baby. Or in high school, if you made too big a deal about your grades, boys, or your parents, your friends think you're a drama queen? Remember when you thought that whatever you were feeling, that it just wasn't what "society" expected of you? I remember having these feelings: as a kid, teenager, college student, and now - as an adult.  When infertility became a word used in my house I didn't know how to comprehend what my emotions should be.        Was it ok to cry? Well yes, but Mara you have a kid, why do you get to cry?        Was it ok to be mad? Probably, but seriously, it could be so much worse, think of all the things you do have.         Was it ok to beg and plead with God? I'm sure he listened, but Mara you are sounding sel...

  June, oh my goodness, has been Flying by! I have had blog posts race through my head multiple times, but alas, nothing has been written... bummer.  So tonight I thought I would put all of those posts into one, as simplified as I can...   1. How is the adoption process going? Well, it's still paperwork. Another bummer. In "theory" we should have everything turned in in about a week, but it doesn't look like it will happen. The home study has yet to be completely finished, although I think our case worker is a lovely person, she unfortunately hasn't been too terribly timely with our home study. We started paperwork with her 7 months ago, so I thought for sure we'd be done by now! Our international agency has said though that they will give us a couple weeks past our "paperwork deadline", especially since we are waiting for something that is out of our hands.   Good news though! Remember those passports I was terribly nervous about!?! Well,...

Why did God choose for us to wait , just in time to wait again ? Our journey with adoption began in 2010. We had started looking into all of our options, researching the pros and cons of domestic vs. international adoption, learning more about the hundreds of options for agencies, and researching the many different countries we could adopt from. At the time I fell in love with AGCI and the principles they stood for, as well as the prompt and friendly responses I had from the caseworker we were working with. I was also interested in foster care and was studying what that would mean within Iowa, where we lived at the time. And then reality struck, the likelihood that we would move out of Iowa was very real. If we started any type of adoption process at that time, basically all would have to be started over if we were to move to another state. So we stopped the process. Physically the process was over. Mentally, I wasn't satisfied with this answer. We were smart though. We list...

Last week I was taken a little aback by the news that it could be 3.5 years until we would be bringing our children home. I knew this would be a process, a long process, and maybe I was kidding myself thinking that somehow our process would be shorter. We still do have the potential to have a shorter process since our parameters are not extremely narrow, but we will still be no where near what my head was hoping for. In the recent months it had crossed my mind that I could see us adopting more than once, but what a process that would be! If this is a 3-5 year process, to start all over again seemed like so much. But now our minds are racing with a new hope... Because of the letter they sent us, we learned that simultaneous adoption is an option. The thought had never even occurred to me to look into this option, but I'm becoming quite excited about the prospect. With simultaneous adoption, we would be part of two different adoption programs within our agency - Ethiopia & ...

What to do, what to do? Well, there's not much we can do. We received an email yesterday stating that timelines for Ethiopia adoption have become MUCH longer than they usually had been. To the tune of 3.5 years until a referral... yikes. In the last few years Ethiopia had been allowing many adoptions within a short timeframe, which has now led to some corruption. Due to these events, Ethiopia has taken steps to try and cut out the corruption. While I am very thankful that we are trying to end the corruption, it is a bummer for the timeline of adoption. My stomach has been sick all day thinking about our children. There are so many kids that Truthfully and Honestly need homes, but because of sick people in this world who worship money over the value of a childhood, our children are stuck in an orphanage somewhere in Ethiopia. And, I worry about Caleb. He so badly wants his brother and/or sister here. Right now. Tomorrow if possible. How is he going to wait three more years? ...

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant. It was very real. I was going into labor and it was on my birthday, which was an exciting prospect. Granted, I know the dream came because I watched "Grey's Anatomy" last night and someone gave birth, and I was going into labor on my birthday because in reality, tomorrow is my birthday. This year I hit one of the milestone birthdays - 30. Yes, I know I'm still "young". I  really don't feel like this is making me much older, but it is hitting me harder than I thought it would. A few months ago I laughed about the fact that I was almost 30, but today, as I sit and mull it over - I'm not too excited about the fact that I'm 30. Why not? Well, I thought life would have been a little different I think. Not a ton different. At 30 I hoped to be married, living in a house, have a career, have a family, and I am very blessed to have all of these things. But the things that didn't happen before I was 30,...